Start here
Where do I start?
A few practical first steps, for yourself or someone you care about.
Three things to start with.
If you have just had a diagnosis, start here. Someone else can help with any of these steps.
Know who to call.
Ask for your cancer team’s contact number and opening hours. Ask which number to use for urgent concerns or when the team is unavailable. Keep them somewhere easy to find.
Get the next step written down.
Ask what happens next, when to expect it and who to contact if you have not heard. If the appointment was a blur, ask the team to go through it again and send a written summary.
Ask what needs attention now.
“Is there anything I need to do or decide before my next appointment or before treatment starts?” Ask what can wait, too. Your team can help work out the timing for you.
You do not need to work through the whole page today. If you are ready for more, open whichever part would help.
Get an appointment notes sheetMy appointment was a blur. What can I do?
You can contact the team and say: “I didn’t take everything in. Could someone go through what was said and what happens next?”
- Ask for the diagnosis in writing, including what is known and what still needs checking. The stage or treatment plan may not be clear yet.
- If you would like someone with you, ask them to take notes. If you are going alone, ask the team to help you record the key points.
- Ask whether you can record the conversation for your own use. Keep the recording private.
- Start one folder, on paper or your own device, for appointment letters, reports and questions. Ask how to get copies of your records.
What might I need to ask before treatment?
Choose the questions that matter to you. Your team can explain which apply, what is already arranged and what needs deciding now.
Tests and results
“Are any further tests needed to help choose my treatment? Which are already arranged, and when will the results be needed?”
Understanding testsFertility
“Could this treatment affect my fertility? If having children might matter to me, can we discuss my options before treatment?”
Fertility and cancerClinical trials
“Are there any trials that might be suitable for me? Would starting treatment affect whether I could join?”
Understanding clinical trialsA second opinion
“Could I have a second opinion? How would we arrange it, and would waiting affect my treatment?”
Asking for another opinionEating and swallowing
“I’m finding eating or swallowing difficult, or losing weight without trying. Can you help me get support from a dietitian or swallowing specialist?”
Help with eatingMedicines and supplements
“Can someone check everything I take, including medicines, vitamins, supplements and herbal products, alongside my planned treatment?”
Medicines and supplementsKeep your appointments and discuss any proposed change to your treatment timetable with your team. If treatment has already started, you can still raise these questions.
I’m worried about getting through today.
Tell someone what is difficult right now. You could say: “I don’t need you to solve everything. Could you sit with me, bring some food or help me make a call?”
If you have nobody to ask, you can call Macmillan free on 0808 808 00 00, every day, 8am to 8pm. You do not need to have a clear question ready.
If you are unwell or worried about a symptom, contact your care team or use the urgent-help routes. You do not need to finish this page first.
Understanding the feelings after a diagnosisWhat about work, money and telling people?
You can choose whom to tell and how much to share. If you want, ask one person to pass on agreed updates so you are not answering every message.
Practical matters do not all have the same timetable. If income, food, bills, dependants or time off work are a worry, ask for help now. Some claims and work arrangements have deadlines.
A trusted person can help check what is urgent. Macmillan can help you find money and benefits advice.
For friends, family and carers
Helping someone with cancer.
Start with what would help them today and what you can realistically take on.
More help with caring for someone- Offer one specific thing. “Would a lift to your appointment or some shopping help?” Give them room to say no or suggest something else.
- Put the useful details together. With their agreement, note the next appointment, the team’s number and who to call outside normal hours.
- Share a job where you can. Ask another willing person to take an agreed task. Confirm who is doing it and when.
If you are doing more of the caring
Write down what you are already doing, including calls, travel and keeping track of appointments. Choose one task you need help with. Ask the team about practical support and training for unfamiliar care.
Support and breaks for carersAfter someone has died
Getting through today after a loss.
Whether the death was recent or some time ago, you can start with what you need today.
Grieving while someone is still alive?- Think about the next few hours. Something to eat, a place to rest and any care that children, pets or other dependants need.
- Ask for one kind of help. “Could you sit with me for a bit?” or “Could you handle today’s messages? I can’t face answering everyone.”
- Choose the next task, if there is one. If the death was recent, keep the instructions you have been given together. Ask someone to help identify the next step and its deadline.
If you need to talk, or would rather not
You can ask someone to keep you company without talking about the death. If you would like to speak to someone outside your family or friends, a bereavement service can listen.
Grief and bereavement supportIf you don’t know where to begin
You can start with a conversation.
“Cancer is affecting my life and I’m not sure where to start.” That is enough to begin a call. You can ask someone you trust to sit with you.
Before you finish, ask for one clear next step: who to contact, what to say and when to follow up.